I find it unnerving to think about breathing. Jeff Gibson was my wife's lung doctor in Memphis. No real fear of downsizing in that field. I recently remembered to take a deep breath after some 100 days of intensely shallow breathing. I breathe shallow to control my environment. Perhaps I believe that personal stillness will calm the people around me. A succulent gulp of air portends outer madness for me. What a self-centered notion! To deeply believe that by modeling austerity I can prevent others from acting on impulses toward freedom and sincerity of expression. Well, this is what I do. Incidentally, I haven't excercised or sung at church in a long time. The exercise trickled down to mere nothingness during the beginning of this school year. My apathy in personal worship began several years ago. But I was thinking yesterday (Sunday) that my spiritual sluggishness could actually cause my physical undoing. While other jolly souls are filling their sacs and hearts with air, I might be robbing myself of life-giving and airborne sustenance. I also drank green tea yesterday and this seemed to undo approximately 1/3 of the damage caused by spritual apathy/non-exercising.
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